What the Heck is "Fulfullment," Anyway?

What the Heck is "Fulfullment," Anyway?

At Motivational Millennial, we are big advocates of the value and possibility of living a fulfilling life. We don’t believe it is a pipe dream, or only for “some people,” or just some buzzword that personal development folks use.

But truthfully, that’s how the concept of “fulfillment” can come across, right? Like that’s all it is…a concept, and an abstract one at that. So I thought it would be good to break it down a bit and share what fulfillment is and what it can look like in your life.

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Belief Is Stronger Than Proof

Belief Is Stronger Than Proof

Have you ever tried to change a “bad” habit (eating candy, smoking, not exercising, watching Honey Boo Boo, etc.), only to feel powerless against the momentum of something that you know is bad for you?

This is incredibly frustrating, but we beat ourselves up for the wrong reason.  We think, “Man, I must be so weak if I can’t do something that I know is logically a better choice for me and my future.”

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The Power of the Hockey Stick

The Power of the Hockey Stick

Why should you keep going when it doesn’t look like you’re making any progress?  

That’s a question that all of us face when we’re working on a long-term project that doesn’t result in immediate success.  

I recently received a great reminder of the power of persistence in a group of podcasters of which Ivy and I are members. 

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Momentum is Powerful

Momentum is Powerful

When we accomplish something at the edge of our comfort zone, we tend to feel relieved when it’s done.  We can also feel energized.  Now that we climbed this hill, the slightly bigger hill in the distance seems more manageable.  

Conversely, when we don’t accomplish something we attempt, it’s easy to feel diminished.  If I couldn’t climb this hill, I can’t even imagine trying to climb a bigger hill.  I don’t trust my abilities as much as I thought I did.  

The blessing and the curse is that we tend to gain momentum in either direction.  

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Fuel Your Success with Self-Care

Fuel Your Success with Self-Care

I had a whole other topic planned for this week’s post. I even have a draft. But as I sat down to finish it, my mind went blank. Problem-solving thoughts began to float in my mind, “Okay, I only have about two hours right now. Maybe I could check some other things off my to-do list. Or maybe I have an old post I wrote forever ago and never shared.”

And suddenly I realized two things: 1.) I sat down this morning to stay focused and create a blog post, and that is exactly what I’m going to do. 2.) The way I accomplish that goal is up to me, and it’s okay not to finish the blog post I originally planned on.

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Welcome to Adulthood: It’s Time to Parent Yourself

Welcome to Adulthood: It’s Time to Parent Yourself

I recently watched an amazing TED Talk entitled “How to stop screwing yourself over” where Mel Robbins introduces the concept of “parenting ourselves.” She says that as children we had someone there to stop us from playing too many video games, eating lots of junk food, or from staying inside on a beautiful weekend day. Our parents set boundaries and guided us with our best interests in mind, and they pushed us when we would not have pushed ourselves.

Just think about it. When you were little, would you have come inside from playing when the streetlights came on and washed up for dinner all by yourself? Heck no! You did it because you knew it was expected of you.

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My Confidence is Being Turned Against Me

My Confidence is Being Turned Against Me

One of the terms we learn in co-active coach training is “the saboteur,” which is the voice in our head that wants to maintain the status quo and gets louder the more we take steps toward fulfillment. That voice can take on many forms: it can be mean and berate you and tell you you’re not enough; it can ask you, “who do you think you are?”; it can be overly practical and convince you that there just simply “isn’t enough time or resources for all that.” Sometimes the saboteur voice pretends to be self-compassion and says, “It’s ok, you can procrastinate one more day – it’s been a long day so far.”

It is very helpful to learn to identify that voice so you can set it aside and focus on the Truth of who you are and what you want. It takes practice, patience and all kinds of self-love, but it is worth it.

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What Happens When Pursuing Your Dreams Leaves You Heartbroken?

What Happens When Pursuing Your Dreams Leaves You Heartbroken?

“Living a life of purpose, mission, or service can be intense, sometimes heartbreaking and exhausting, and at the same time enormously fulfilling. The paradox of fulfillment is that it is possible both to have a sense of inner peace and to experience an outer struggle at the same time.” - Co-Active Coaching by Kimsey-House, et al.

When it comes to broken hearts, most of us are familiar with the romantic sort. But what we don’t always think about or experience is the kind of heartbreak that comes from pursuing our dreams.

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How to Prepare for a TEDx Talk in a Week

How to Prepare for a TEDx Talk in a Week

“I am the most unlikely looking rapper you may have ever seen.  There probably aren’t that many nerdy white kids from Hickory, NC, who did a PhD on hip-hop or deliver hip-hop motivational assemblies to students.”  

These were the hard-won opening lines I delivered for my talk at TEDx Hickory yesterday.  While the anxiety and terror of the experience are still fresh, I’d love to share some advice that I wish I had found on the internet during the TEDx writing process. 

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Lost in the Shoulds

Lost in the Shoulds

Have you ever been lost in the shoulds?  

Your parent thinks you should do this.  Your boss thinks you should do that.  Your friends think you should ignore both of them and hang out instead.

Or maybe you’re hearing the shoulds in your head from people you don’t even know.  This business book says you should build a business like this.  This religious book says you should live your life like that.  This comic book says you should laugh about the other books’ opinions about your decisions.

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Never Give Up...Never Surrender!

Never Give Up...Never Surrender!

There is nothing more beautiful or intoxicating than feeling like you are on the right path. I don’t mean when you know the best strategy or which action step to take next. That is a wonderful feeling too, but it is nothing compared to when your true self, creativity, and passion are being honored like never before. I’m talking about the path when you feel clear, peaceful, happy and determined.

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Stop Taking Life So Seriously: A Reminder to Myself and Other Overachievers.

Stop Taking Life So Seriously: A Reminder to Myself and Other Overachievers.

That sense of existential doom, that worry about failure, that persistent weight on your shoulders… it isn’t real. You don’t have to take life so seriously.

Maybe you're serious because you see others around you who aren’t taking life seriously enough, and you don’t want to be one of those people who goofs off and wastes their whole life.

Maybe you're serious because you want to be successful, and you feel the only way to do so is to put your nose to the grindstone and basically grin and bear it day in and day out.

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So you want to be an entrepreneur.

So you want to be an entrepreneur.

You will take a pay cut.
You will work for months on a project that doesn’t connect with your audience.
You will get screwed over by anyone you can imagine (investors, staff, board members, your dog, etc.)
You will work 18-hour days.
You will sit for 18 hours and not do anything productive.

...

But...

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The Power of Acceptance

On our journey to living fulfilling lives, we will hit roadblocks or moments of discontent and frustration. I can think of many of these moments I have experienced since leaving my job and starting down an entrepreneurial path two years ago. The first roadblock that comes to mind occurred while I prepared for my move from Arkansas to the San Francisco Bay Area to start my journey.

As I browsed the internet for available housing in the area, it became clear that the cost of living was drastically higher than where I currently lived, and I definitely had a momentary freak out. (Who wouldn’t when a 1,100 sq ft apartment in Fayetteville costs $650 a month, but one in Berkeley is closer to $3,500?!)

I’ll tell you what saved me from debilitating doubts: Acceptance.

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Worry Is Not Productive

Why do we feel like worrying about something makes us better prepared for it?

As a student, I used to worry all the time about tests.

As an adult, I worry about work and finances.

As a perfectionist, I worry about all of the things I’m not doing perfectly.

Something about the worry feels productive.  Somewhere along the line, I think I internalized a story that says, “If you care about something, you worry about it.”

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The Freedom Of Releasing Perfectionism

The Freedom Of Releasing Perfectionism

Since reading Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown, I’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability and shame, and how shame from society, each other, and ourselves shapes our identities.

Perhaps one of the most profound realizations I had was about perfectionism, or achieving some form of perfection that we develop in our minds. For those of us who are intimate with the pursuit of perfection, we know how pervasive it can really be.

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When Have You Ever Truly Failed?

Sometimes people ask me how I can just freestyle rap in front of any audience.  They say things like, “I’d never have the courage/confidence/craziness to trust myself to make up a rhyme on the spot that wasn’t terrible.” 

The reality is that I don’t think I have a lot of courage either.  I’ve just changed the question I ask myself before I start to rap. 

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Why We Believe in the Motivational Power of Millennials

Our story began like many of yours. We are Millennials, born 1980-2000, into a world full of futuristic technological advances, a labor market that values intellectual over physical prowess, and psychological climate that emphasized the importance of high self-esteem and sharing our feelings to resolve conflicts.

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